Welcome to the News & Events Section
This sections contains details of the latest events that have taken place at Surviving Together:
Please click the links below to read:
In 2009 it was suggested that we make a collection of our members' poetry, writing and pictures and exhibit them. To date the exhibition has been displayed in The Forum, County Hall, at a Violence Against Women Conference at John Innes Centre, The Quaker Meeting House and St. Thomas Church all in Norwich and at The James Paget Hospital, which means it has been seen by several hundred people.
The first panel of the display stand has information about us and records events; the second and third are for the voices of members..
The exhibition, 'Voices', is seen as an ongoing expression of the feelings of women who have experienced childhood sexual abuse, enabling them to speak out in public and be heard.
When you are sad and lonely
And don’t know what to do,
It takes all your courage
To help you see it through
Treat yourself to flowers
Or write a heartfelt poem,
Try paddling in the sea
Just to keep on going.
Try thinking of good things
And plan to lift the gloom,
For what really matters
Is peace within, and soon.
It helps to know your fight
Is not just all in vain,
Trust, believe in yourself
With friends to ease such pain.
Can help to soothe your sorrow
And prove beyond all doubt
There is a better tomorrow.
Quiet little thing with the haunted face
eyes glassed over and a mind that raced
nowhere to run nowhere to hide
no-one to listen no-one to provide
much needed comfort safety from fears
needs were ignored for so many years
protection required didn’t come our way
is it our fault that we didn’t say?
Who are there when the plug gets pulled?
Who takes the pain, the shame, the fear
The relentless hours in their hands
Their perverted needs know no bounds
The lights go out and I return
Hours have passed I then learn
The torture is over until the next time
The people make sure the next day is mine
Why do I have these things in my head?
When I should be asleep in bed
I do so wish I could scream
Go away people, I don’t want to hear
Leave me alone, I have my own fear
I want to be I, I don’t want to be we
No sharing my time, I want it for me
I want to be normal, and do normal things
Not to be strange, alone and weird
Odd looks from others I can do without
I don’t want to jump around, swear and shout
Or have nasty thoughts impressed to me
I hope you really now do see?
Mummy we don’t want your touch we want you to care
Mummy we don’t want your touch don’t make us lie there
Mummy we don’t want your touch why does it fill you with glee
Mummy we don’t want your touch stay away from we
Hey, look, that’s me
A sparkling shimmering flower
Beautiful and delicate
A pretty purple flower Floating
Floating in the iridescent blue sea of life
Turbulence stopped, Tranquillity stilly.
See the special silver circle
Charged with the energy of love.
Love for me, from others, from me.
Belief in me, being me.
Being the best that I can be.
Its specialness protects me from
The harm trying to penetrate
Just as you penetrated a very special me
Shedding your sceptic seeds,
While I was still growing, still just a bud, growing.
A spikey red line that’s you
Not striking poppy red
Not sleek sports car red
But discoloured blood red
Clotted on the scabs of my scars.
Now I have bloomed
I bleed no more.
Free from the dog weed that you are.
You cannot slice me with a line of symmetry
But I am perfect
Perfect because I’m me.
On October 4th sixteen of us gathered together for a workshop run by Claire Bunton, a local image consultant.
Claire began by telling us her story. As a younger person she went through a very difficult time at work – and had a breakdown.
Part of her recovery was brought about by a visit to an image consultant. It was a turning point for her - and for some years she has been running her own image consultancy for both female and male clients.
Claire went on to ask us how we formed impressions of other people…Apparently, 93% of our first assessment is based on non-verbal clues – mainly appearance. In 30 seconds we have formed a first impression, and in 60 seconds we have subconsciously formed 60 opinions about that person.
Colour is a vital ingredient in the enhancement of our appearance. Surprisingly, everyone can wear every colour: it’s a question of finding the right shade. Black, however, should be avoided next to your face as it can cast shadows.
We were each given a chart of the Six Primary Colour Characteristics. Hair colouring, eye colouring and skin tone are key features which affect our choice of colour in clothes, type of jewellery and make up. The six types of colouring are deep, light, cool, warm, bright and muted.
It was interesting that the clothes you wear can affect your approachability. For authority, you should choose from your deepest or brightest colours and aim for maximum contrast for your colouring. Black and white are often used, but can be too harsh on some people. To be more approachable, choose lighter and softer shades which suit your colouring, or choose more colour rather than neutral combinations.
At one point we were each asked our thoughts about fashion, what we liked or disliked or what we had discovered suited us best.
Body shape was then discussed. Claire pointed that body shape is determined by the shape of the hip bone. Three shapes were shown: straight, semi-straight and shaped.
Things to remember:
- accentuate good points with horizontal emphasis. Don’t emphasise your widest parts as this will make them look even wider.
- To elongate or draw the eye away from an area, use vertical emphasis. If there is an area you do not wish to draw attention to, avoid any detail there.
To sum up, Claire gave us ideas for a “Capsule Wardrobe”. It is good to have about 20% of your wardrobe for your bottom half and 80% for your top. Try to have around 60% of your clothes made up of classic basic items which will not date. Around 30% can be fashionable basics and 10% could be high fashion clothes…(!)
Again the vital element is colour. Start with one of your best neutral colours (black, grey, navy, brown, camel, beige) and collect basic items in this colour.
Next choose two or three colours which will go with your neutral colour.
You can even host a Style Workshop in your home – and get it free as hostess…!
One of our recent Saturday workshops was on personal safety.
Terry Wittikop, chief instructor for TSKR (Traditional Shotokan Karate Ryu) led the workshop, ably assisted by a team of female trainees.
The session began with explanations and handouts re. self-defence.
a) Legal limits. The law allows you to use "reasonable force", eg., to protect yourself with something you are already carrying (keys) - but you may not carry a weapon.
b) General tips - mostly common sense, i.e., avoiding dark unlit areas, adopting confident body language, spreading valuables around your body. If you decide to defend yourself, remember that your attacker may be stronger than you. It may be better to shout "Fire!) (rather than "Help") and run away. Carry a personal attack alarm when walking or jogging, don't wear personal stereo headphones, stay alert.
c) Tips re. staying safe in taxis and on public transport, and warnings about car jacking.
After this, various self-defence moves were demonstrated and explained, showing the most effective target areas of the body, how to use parts of your body as weapons and how to respond to an attack from behind.
It's amazing how even a strong thrust with an index finger under the attacker's nose can make them release their grip as their head goes back...Hair pulling is pretty effective, too...
We then broke into pairs and tried out the moves. Some really got into this...(Iwouldn't like to come across them on a dark night..)
There was also information about DVDs and courses, many of which are run just for female beginners.
At the close of the session we each received an attendance certificate which included the reminder to:
KNOW YOUR NEIGHBOURHOOD
KNOW YOUR LIMITS
KNOW THE LAW
KEEP SAFE KEEP ALERT KEEP CALM
(and eat plenty of spinach...my addition)
To find out more, look up the TSKR website... www.tskr.co.uk
Please click on the relevant headings above for more information about the group and the people who run it.